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Talk shit to "Blade"

Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 10:09 pm
by BLADE
1. Your fondest childhood memory is when Skippy got his head stuck in the banister.

2. You relax by putting on your legwarmers and dancing to the “Footloose” soundtrack.

3. You think the Two Coreys are “totally awesome.”

4. You’re still bitter that Wham! broke up.

5. Punky Brewster is your hero.

6. You type all of your term papers on a Commodore4.

7. You still resent your parents for not installing a dumbwaiter in your house like Webster’s.

8. The only video games you play are Frogger and Pac Man.

9. You’re building your own Clockwork Smurf.

10. Your summer attire is Jellies and Jams.

11. A-Ha’s “Take on Me” is still your favorite video.

12. You consider yourself truly, truly, truly outrageous, much like Jem and the Holograms.

13. You wonder why more people don’t wear high heels, Jordache jeans, and lacy ankle socks.

14. You call all motorcycle cops “Ponch.”

15. Every time you go to the beach you look for Snorks.

16. You’re still upset Madonna and Sean broke up.

17. You know who Stinky Sullivan is.

18. You work out with “Get in Shape Girl.”

19. You want to be Molly Ringwald when you grow up.

20. You enjoy dancing on the ceiling and wearing your sunglasses at night.

21. You know who Loverboy is.

22. You think there should be a Kids Incorporated original cast reunion.

23. You think of Janet Jackson as “that girl who used to date Willis.”

24. You can sing the theme song to Small Wonder.

25. Every time you see a fountain you want to dance around it and yell “Fame!”

26. You still have a shoebox full of Garbage Pail Kid cards.

27. You write your congressman asking him to introduce a bill to make “Born in the USA” the national anthem.

28. You still use your Snoopy Sno-Cone machine.

29. You know it’s not “comma, comma, comma” it’s karma.

30. You stay up nights wondering what Bastian’s mother’s name was in “The Neverending Story.”

31. You have nightmares about the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak.

32. You still practice your Care Bear Stare.

33. You know that girls just wanna have fuh-un.

34. You can name all The Wuzzles.

35. You harbor a secret dream of being slimed by Alistair.

36. You can do the Safety Dance.

37. In your spare time you are writing “The Breakfast Club”.

38. You like to “connect the dots, la la la la!”

39. Someone mentions Jennifer Beals and you don’t say “Who?”

40. Your prized possesion is a collection of “Return of the Jedi” Shrinky Dinks.

41. You know whose number is 867-5309.

42. You get depressed thinking about Anthony Michael Hall’s career.

43. You’re starting a write-in campaign to MTV to bring back Remote Control.

44. You drink Diet Coke because Max Headroom told you to.

45. You consider Jo vs. Blair the major philosophical conflict of the 20th century.

46. You have a duck phone and ride around your house on a little train.

47. You want to be one of the Solid Gold Dancers.

48. You still watch things on Beta.

49. You want to change your name to Rio and dance on the sand.

50. You know that “Weird Science” was a movie before a tv show.

51. Your favorite proverb is “some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on.”

52. You always waited for the Sweet Pickles Bus to visit your house.

53. Your favorite party game is Hungry Hungry Hippos.

54. You saw the New Kids on the Block when they were Tiffany’s opening act.

55. You liked Tom Hanks better when he was a crossdresser.

56. You know which Hollywood Square Jm J Bullock was in.

57. You practice getting in and out of your car through the windows.

58. You have the tendency to turn up the collar of your polo shirts.

59. You’re still wondering who really was the boss.

60. You know what the “P” in “Alex P. Keaton” stands for.

61. You keep asking your teachers if instead of the quiz you can take the Physical Challenge.

62. You organize weekend tournaments of TV tag.

63. You still drink New Coke.

64. When you watch “Terminator” you wonder where Vincent is.

65. You know ALF’s real name.

66. You never go out for a night on the town without frosted blue eyeshadow and feathered bangs.

67. You can name all of the Thundercats.

68. You got a hankerin’ for a hunk of cheese.

69. Everything in your wardrobe is either pastel or fluorescent.

70. Your musical inspiration is Sonny Mann.

71. Sometimes you just want to shout, shout, let it all out.

72. You’re planning a dream vacation to Mepos.

73. You use your Speak and Spell to phone home.

74. You know the original members of Menudo.

75. Sometimes out of the blue you just got to shake your love.

76. When you’re stuck in traffic you tell your car to engage Turbo Boost and are surprised when it doesn’t talk back..

77. You remember when Vanessa sang Kareoke to “Locomotion.”

78. You know that Mr. Steele functions best in an advisory capacity.

79. People are constantly gagging you with spoons.

80. Your idea of appreciating ancient cultures is “Walk Like an Egyptian.”

81. The only thing you know about the Nazis is that they threw Indy to the snakes.

82. You still use your hair crimper before going out on a hot date.

83. You hatch plots to break Murdock out of VA hospital.

84. You know which five people Serpentor’s DNA came from.

85. You have “We Are the World” on 5.

86. You’re still sending death threats to Mr. Rubik.

87. You can feel St. Elmo’s fire burnin’ in you.

88. You watch NYPD Blue thinking, “Well, they’re no Crockett and Tubbs, that’s for sure.”

89. “Goonies” is your favorite movie of all time! (I added that one! -MDR)

90. You can remember Alanis Morissette’s career before Jagged Little Pill.

91. Every day, you take a ride on the Great Space Coaster.

92. You want to party with Spuds Mackenzie.

93. You can still identify any “My Little Pony” by solely by its magical markings.

94. You know the answer to “Who’s that Girl?”

95. Thanks to the Coach, you know the location of Albania, its terrain and its main export.

96. You proudly wear your prized collection of jelly bracelets and charm necklaces.

97. You want to get physical with Olivia Newton-John.

98. You know the name of the other guy from Wham!

99. When someone mentions rap, you think of Run DMC and the Fat Boys.

100. You still wear banana clips.

101. You don’t think Boner is an inappropriate nickname for a friend.

102. When a problem comes along, you just whip it.

103. You had sunglasses that were also a headband.

104. You’re still asking, “Where’s the beef?”

105. You remeber when Belinda still sang with the Go-Go’s

106. You ate Reeses Pieces because E.T. did.

107. You remember when nobody believed Snuffy was real.

108. You played Donkey Kong before you even cared what Nintendo meant.

109. Every one of your favorite cartoons had its own cereal.

110. On long car rides you break out the Mad Libs.

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:00 am
by skipp666
Hey Nancy pants, when the fuck they let you out of prision. I didn't think they let people who rape little boys out. :headshot:

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:28 am
by LIVE FO RETSINIM
BLADE wrote:1. Your fondest childhood memory is when Skippy got his head stuck in the banister.

2. You relax by putting on your legwarmers and dancing to the “Footloose” soundtrack.

3. You think the Two Coreys are “totally awesome.”

4. You’re still bitter that Wham! broke up.

5. Punky Brewster is your hero.

6. You type all of your term papers on a Commodore4.

7. You still resent your parents for not installing a dumbwaiter in your house like Webster’s.

8. The only video games you play are Frogger and Pac Man.

9. You’re building your own Clockwork Smurf.

10. Your summer attire is Jellies and Jams.

11. A-Ha’s “Take on Me” is still your favorite video.

12. You consider yourself truly, truly, truly outrageous, much like Jem and the Holograms.

13. You wonder why more people don’t wear high heels, Jordache jeans, and lacy ankle socks.

14. You call all motorcycle cops “Ponch.”

15. Every time you go to the beach you look for Snorks.

16. You’re still upset Madonna and Sean broke up.

17. You know who Stinky Sullivan is.

18. You work out with “Get in Shape Girl.”

19. You want to be Molly Ringwald when you grow up.

20. You enjoy dancing on the ceiling and wearing your sunglasses at night.

21. You know who Loverboy is.

22. You think there should be a Kids Incorporated original cast reunion.

23. You think of Janet Jackson as “that girl who used to date Willis.”

24. You can sing the theme song to Small Wonder.

25. Every time you see a fountain you want to dance around it and yell “Fame!”

26. You still have a shoebox full of Garbage Pail Kid cards.

27. You write your congressman asking him to introduce a bill to make “Born in the USA” the national anthem.

28. You still use your Snoopy Sno-Cone machine.

29. You know it’s not “comma, comma, comma” it’s karma.

30. You stay up nights wondering what Bastian’s mother’s name was in “The Neverending Story.”

31. You have nightmares about the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak.

32. You still practice your Care Bear Stare.

33. You know that girls just wanna have fuh-un.

34. You can name all The Wuzzles.

35. You harbor a secret dream of being slimed by Alistair.

36. You can do the Safety Dance.

37. In your spare time you are writing “The Breakfast Club”.

38. You like to “connect the dots, la la la la!”

39. Someone mentions Jennifer Beals and you don’t say “Who?”

40. Your prized possesion is a collection of “Return of the Jedi” Shrinky Dinks.

41. You know whose number is 867-5309.

42. You get depressed thinking about Anthony Michael Hall’s career.

43. You’re starting a write-in campaign to MTV to bring back Remote Control.

44. You drink Diet Coke because Max Headroom told you to.

45. You consider Jo vs. Blair the major philosophical conflict of the 20th century.

46. You have a duck phone and ride around your house on a little train.

47. You want to be one of the Solid Gold Dancers.

48. You still watch things on Beta.

49. You want to change your name to Rio and dance on the sand.

50. You know that “Weird Science” was a movie before a tv show.

51. Your favorite proverb is “some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on.”

52. You always waited for the Sweet Pickles Bus to visit your house.

53. Your favorite party game is Hungry Hungry Hippos.

54. You saw the New Kids on the Block when they were Tiffany’s opening act.

55. You liked Tom Hanks better when he was a crossdresser.

56. You know which Hollywood Square Jm J Bullock was in.

57. You practice getting in and out of your car through the windows.

58. You have the tendency to turn up the collar of your polo shirts.

59. You’re still wondering who really was the boss.

60. You know what the “P” in “Alex P. Keaton” stands for.

61. You keep asking your teachers if instead of the quiz you can take the Physical Challenge.

62. You organize weekend tournaments of TV tag.

63. You still drink New Coke.

64. When you watch “Terminator” you wonder where Vincent is.

65. You know ALF’s real name.

66. You never go out for a night on the town without frosted blue eyeshadow and feathered bangs.

67. You can name all of the Thundercats.

68. You got a hankerin’ for a hunk of cheese.

69. Everything in your wardrobe is either pastel or fluorescent.

70. Your musical inspiration is Sonny Mann.

71. Sometimes you just want to shout, shout, let it all out.

72. You’re planning a dream vacation to Mepos.

73. You use your Speak and Spell to phone home.

74. You know the original members of Menudo.

75. Sometimes out of the blue you just got to shake your love.

76. When you’re stuck in traffic you tell your car to engage Turbo Boost and are surprised when it doesn’t talk back..

77. You remember when Vanessa sang Kareoke to “Locomotion.”

78. You know that Mr. Steele functions best in an advisory capacity.

79. People are constantly gagging you with spoons.

80. Your idea of appreciating ancient cultures is “Walk Like an Egyptian.”

81. The only thing you know about the Nazis is that they threw Indy to the snakes.

82. You still use your hair crimper before going out on a hot date.

83. You hatch plots to break Murdock out of VA hospital.

84. You know which five people Serpentor’s DNA came from.

85. You have “We Are the World” on 5.

86. You’re still sending death threats to Mr. Rubik.

87. You can feel St. Elmo’s fire burnin’ in you.

88. You watch NYPD Blue thinking, “Well, they’re no Crockett and Tubbs, that’s for sure.”

89. “Goonies” is your favorite movie of all time! (I added that one! -MDR)

90. You can remember Alanis Morissette’s career before Jagged Little Pill.

91. Every day, you take a ride on the Great Space Coaster.

92. You want to party with Spuds Mackenzie.

93. You can still identify any “My Little Pony” by solely by its magical markings.

94. You know the answer to “Who’s that Girl?”

95. Thanks to the Coach, you know the location of Albania, its terrain and its main export.

96. You proudly wear your prized collection of jelly bracelets and charm necklaces.

97. You want to get physical with Olivia Newton-John.

98. You know the name of the other guy from Wham!

99. When someone mentions rap, you think of Run DMC and the Fat Boys.

100. You still wear banana clips.

101. You don’t think Boner is an inappropriate nickname for a friend.

102. When a problem comes along, you just whip it.

103. You had sunglasses that were also a headband.

104. You’re still asking, “Where’s the beef?”

105. You remeber when Belinda still sang with the Go-Go’s

106. You ate Reeses Pieces because E.T. did.

107. You remember when nobody believed Snuffy was real.

108. You played Donkey Kong before you even cared what Nintendo meant.

109. Every one of your favorite cartoons had its own cereal.

110. On long car rides you break out the Mad Libs.
ohh hahahahah god that is so fuckin funny... you fucking douche.

50 ways to ensure you won't get laid

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:25 am
by BLADE
1. Say you’re from Arkansas.
2. Drool.
3. Show them your gun.
4. Keep talking about your mommy.
5. Lick peoples’ faces.
6. Tell people about your Michael Jackson shrine.
7. End each sentence with “so when do we fuck?”
8. Tell complete strangers about your dreams “It was old my old high school, but it was lit up like a casino.. Do you know what I mean?”
9. Talk about your extensive porn video collection.
10. Admit to people that you watch Dawson’s Creek. Also works for Felicity, Party of Five, 90210, etc.
11. Ask for spare change.
12. Show everyone your track marks.
13. Complain about those strange sores on your genitals that just won’t go away.
14. Tell people that you voted for Ross Perot.
15. Two words: Pope hats.
16. Bring in Polaroids of your hemorrhoid.
17. Describe your yeast infection in detail.
18. Talk about your ex-lover’s funeral.
19. Offer to bring her back to Burke to meet the guys.
20. Recite bad poetry.
21. Grab your genitals.
22. Grab theirs.
23. Yodel in bed.
24. Squirt liquids out of your eyes.
25. Ask them to pop the zits on your back.
26. Bark.
27. Wear overalls.
28. Burn rubber. Burn rubbers.
29. Carry a box of Depends.
30. Say “I enjoy making speeches during sex.”
31. Keep saying “I think that would fit up my butt.”
32. Sing the score to Jesus Christ Superstar.
33. Light your head on fire.
34. Talk Quebec politics.
35. Play the bagpipes.
36. Drop your pants and point to your genitals.
37. Lie about your identity.
38. Start your pick-up with “I’ve been following you.”
39. Write love letters in blood.
40. Carry a teddy bear.
41. Show-off your body piercing.
42. Grab their face.
43. Speak really loudly and keep asking them if they’re scared.
44. Offer them a toot on your gluebag.
45. Start masturbating.
46. Never stop screaming.
47. Say “I’m not making love to you. My other personality is.”
48. Show them your meat hook.
49. flash your CSU business card.
50. Tell them about your condom recycling ideas.
51. Shout out the name of your last lover…Raoul Cedras, Haitian dictator.
52. Duct tape a dead fish to your forehead.
53. Hump their clothes in public.
54. Ask if you can bring some friends
55. Ask if you can bring your father.
56. Pick, pick, pick your nose.
57. Wear a Hitler moustache, especially if you’re a woman.
58. Ask them to marry you right away.
59. Blame them for everything.
60. When they take off their clothes, burst out laughing.
61. Shit in bed.
62. Show off your stigmata.
63. Spend all day chatting online and not actually seeing a single person.
64. Offer to mutilate yourself to prove your love.
65. As soon as you meet say “Commitment or death, it’s your choice.”
66. Ask them to join your suicide pact. “Have you ever had sex while plummeting to the ground in a flaming vehicle?”
67. Tell them your crossbow is your best friend.
68. Make gurgling noises at the table.
69. Refuse to wear a condom. “I’ve never worn a condom and I’ve had over 100 lovers.”
70. Wear an End of the World sandwich board.
71. Scream in pain while urinating.
72. Ask “How come sex always ends in death?”
73. Use napalm as lubricant.
74. Tell them you can suck your own member.
75. Gag while kissing.
76. Suck their nose.
77. Shit your pants and sing a song.
78. Eat things you find on the street.
79. Bring them to an International Socialist meeting.
80. Tell them O.J. is your hero.
81. Tell them, “If we’re going to have sex I’m going to have to get batteries.”
82. Whip a gerbil out of your butt. Roll it up and smoke it.
83. Get into your Smurf outfit.
84. In the middle of sex say “Hey! This is way better than sheep.”
85. In the middle of sex “Hey! This is way better than pumpkins.”
86. Pull your tampon out. Swing it around your head and yell “Your goin’ down Goliath!”
87. Tell them you cry everytime you see “Edward Penishands.”
88. Demand cash up front.
89. Say “I’m doing this because I feel sorry for you.”
90. Keep yelling “Next!”
91. Never get their name right.
92. Instead of foreplay try selling them a vacuum cleaner.
93. Show them your tail.
94. The minute you get to their place, hump their dog. Smile crazily.
95. Wear a helmet all the time.
96. Start doing “The Safety Dance.”
97. Begin with “The instruction manual said…”
98. Put your underwear on your head.
99. Be yourself.
100. Make lists about how not to get laid.

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 8:07 am
by skipp666
51. You're the biggest faggot on the face of the earth.

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:28 am
by LIVE FO RETSINIM
BLADE wrote:1. Say you’re from Arkansas.
2. Drool.
3. Show them your gun.
4. Keep talking about your mommy.
5. Lick peoples’ faces.
6. Tell people about your Michael Jackson shrine.
7. End each sentence with “so when do we fuck?”
8. Tell complete strangers about your dreams “It was old my old high school, but it was lit up like a casino.. Do you know what I mean?”
9. Talk about your extensive porn video collection.
10. Admit to people that you watch Dawson’s Creek. Also works for Felicity, Party of Five, 90210, etc.
11. Ask for spare change.
12. Show everyone your track marks.
13. Complain about those strange sores on your genitals that just won’t go away.
14. Tell people that you voted for Ross Perot.
15. Two words: Pope hats.
16. Bring in Polaroids of your hemorrhoid.
17. Describe your yeast infection in detail.
18. Talk about your ex-lover’s funeral.
19. Offer to bring her back to Burke to meet the guys.
20. Recite bad poetry.
21. Grab your genitals.
22. Grab theirs.
23. Yodel in bed.
24. Squirt liquids out of your eyes.
25. Ask them to pop the zits on your back.
26. Bark.
27. Wear overalls.
28. Burn rubber. Burn rubbers.
29. Carry a box of Depends.
30. Say “I enjoy making speeches during sex.”
31. Keep saying “I think that would fit up my butt.”
32. Sing the score to Jesus Christ Superstar.
33. Light your head on fire.
34. Talk Quebec politics.
35. Play the bagpipes.
36. Drop your pants and point to your genitals.
37. Lie about your identity.
38. Start your pick-up with “I’ve been following you.”
39. Write love letters in blood.
40. Carry a teddy bear.
41. Show-off your body piercing.
42. Grab their face.
43. Speak really loudly and keep asking them if they’re scared.
44. Offer them a toot on your gluebag.
45. Start masturbating.
46. Never stop screaming.
47. Say “I’m not making love to you. My other personality is.”
48. Show them your meat hook.
49. flash your CSU business card.
50. Tell them about your condom recycling ideas.
51. Shout out the name of your last lover…Raoul Cedras, Haitian dictator.
52. Duct tape a dead fish to your forehead.
53. Hump their clothes in public.
54. Ask if you can bring some friends
55. Ask if you can bring your father.
56. Pick, pick, pick your nose.
57. Wear a Hitler moustache, especially if you’re a woman.
58. Ask them to marry you right away.
59. Blame them for everything.
60. When they take off their clothes, burst out laughing.
61. Shit in bed.
62. Show off your stigmata.
63. Spend all day chatting online and not actually seeing a single person.
64. Offer to mutilate yourself to prove your love.
65. As soon as you meet say “Commitment or death, it’s your choice.”
66. Ask them to join your suicide pact. “Have you ever had sex while plummeting to the ground in a flaming vehicle?”
67. Tell them your crossbow is your best friend.
68. Make gurgling noises at the table.
69. Refuse to wear a condom. “I’ve never worn a condom and I’ve had over 100 lovers.”
70. Wear an End of the World sandwich board.
71. Scream in pain while urinating.
72. Ask “How come sex always ends in death?”
73. Use napalm as lubricant.
74. Tell them you can suck your own member.
75. Gag while kissing.
76. Suck their nose.
77. Shit your pants and sing a song.
78. Eat things you find on the street.
79. Bring them to an International Socialist meeting.
80. Tell them O.J. is your hero.
81. Tell them, “If we’re going to have sex I’m going to have to get batteries.”
82. Whip a gerbil out of your butt. Roll it up and smoke it.
83. Get into your Smurf outfit.
84. In the middle of sex say “Hey! This is way better than sheep.”
85. In the middle of sex “Hey! This is way better than pumpkins.”
86. Pull your tampon out. Swing it around your head and yell “Your goin’ down Goliath!”
87. Tell them you cry everytime you see “Edward Penishands.”
88. Demand cash up front.
89. Say “I’m doing this because I feel sorry for you.”
90. Keep yelling “Next!”
91. Never get their name right.
92. Instead of foreplay try selling them a vacuum cleaner.
93. Show them your tail.
94. The minute you get to their place, hump their dog. Smile crazily.
95. Wear a helmet all the time.
96. Start doing “The Safety Dance.”
97. Begin with “The instruction manual said…”
98. Put your underwear on your head.
99. Be yourself.
100. Make lists about how not to get laid.
that proves it, you wrote the book on how NOT to get laid.

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:10 am
by BLADE
We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't
just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on
by itself. You've got to keep on watering it. You've got to really look after
it and nurture it"
John Lennon

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 7:47 am
by -deathboy-
Image

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:07 am
by skipp666
:cheers:
-deathboy- wrote:Image

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:07 am
by Morbid

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:34 am
by mickey brown-eye
BLADE wrote:We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't
just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on
by itself. You've got to keep on watering it. You've got to really look after
it and nurture it"
John Lennon
I've got some water for your plant buddy, ya thirsty?

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 3:00 am
by BLADE
pooof

Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:46 am
by Born in a Casket
skipp666 wrote:Hey Nancy pants, when the fuck they let you out of prision. I didn't think they let people who rape little boys out. :headshot:
Nah, they don't put them in prison, they just move them to a different church ;)

Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:07 pm
by mickey brown-eye
BLADE wrote:pooof
It is spelled Poofter, honey britches

Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 1:56 am
by BLADE
fuck you

Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 6:54 am
by -deathboy-
you're an idiot.

Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:06 am
by mickey brown-eye
BLADE wrote:fuck you
I've got your number, but you couldn't afford me, dear

Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 10:37 pm
by BLADE
d0nt piss me off

Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 10:42 am
by -deathboy-
BLADE wrote:d0nt piss me off
LOL!!
hahahahhahhahahahaaahhahah
*gasp*
hahahahahahahahahhahahahah
i'm cryin over here! this is exactly the humor i needed this day.
hahahahahaahhahaahahahahah

or what dipshit, you're gonna post a .jpg of a gun and type at us in all caps?
don't go all rudy at the qfc you're hijackin your wifi from or they may kick you out! then how will you continue your life's ambition of being history's greatest innerwub trolltard?

Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:32 am
by skipp666
No worries ya'll, I gots your back!

Image

Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:01 pm
by mickey brown-eye
BLADE wrote:d0nt piss me off
for 20 bucks I will piss on you. If you look in the next stranger I have a coupon for 5 dollars off if you are on a budget