Godsend

Okay, you got me. That was actually the tag line for THE GODSEND from the early 80s--you know, the one where Angela Pleasence drops an evil foundling off on a family? 

This isn't a remake--but it comes close on occasion, believe it or not. 

Premise: cruel as hell. But there's something they DON'T consider. Lose an eight-year-old child? Accept a clone? Same as ever? 

Wait a minute--after carrying him to term, you YOURSELF would be almost nine years older. So it wouldn't be the same. Sorry. Nothing so simple. Of course, the characters in this movie don't seem to age a day. Greg Kinnear gets more concerned, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos gets more weepy (but keeps her model tone/physique without the slightest alteration)--and the more nervous Robert De Niro gets, the more he plays with his balls. 

So--is this A.I.? A film in which parents try to get used to an almost-but-not-quite while dealing with heavy moral issues? 

Or is this THE SIXTH SENSE? Where the boy starts seeing--well, not exactly "dead people" but disturbing images? 

Or is this THE GODSEND after all? No siblings to kill, but definite Michael Myers tendencies nonetheless? 

Or is this a lame detective movie in which the proper information miraculously drops into the protagonist's lap when he looks for it? 

Yep--all of the above. No surprise that the damn thing reportedly had seven different endings--and the one they chose doesn't resolve a bloody thing or even come close to working. Suffice it to say that if you're genuinely intrigued by the clone/morality dilemma, the film cops out by introducing a plot twist that negates virtually every important issue raised to that point. 

Sorry, cast--you tried, but this one isn't even worth a matinee.

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