1990: The Bronx Warriors

1990: The Bronx Warriors
By Richard Taylor

Like with a lot of well-known movies there are numerous rip-off's that follow them. The Bronx Warriors is one of those early eighties apocalyptic in the near future the world has gone all to hell type flicks. Funny thing is, the world hasn't changed much. This movie being made in 1984 and predicting that 1990 will be the year to end all years and here we still are as ignorant as ever. Now people believe the year 2000 will be it and as the world goes on things won't change.

 

If you didn't guess it before I went off into all this rambling The Bronx Warriors is a variation (the nice word for rip-off) of the classics The Road Warrior or say Escape From New York.

 

I thought any Italian flick produced by Fabrizio De Angelis who also produced most of Lucio Fulci's work and others is worth a look for sure. What we get is an ultra cheesy and bad action film that provides unintentional laughs due to the hilariously bad and dubbed English dialogue (example: "It could be just a pile of stinking shit from his asshole" in reference to a possible lie or raw deal). The other numerous badly dubbed profanities provide some amusement.

 

The plot of the film has this tall and slim pretty boy Italiano named Trash who meets a chick named Anne trying to flee Manhattan. He saves her from a rival gang who wear hockey gear and roller skates and the two fall in love. Meanwhile Trash's gang and other various gangs feud but a character played by Fred Williamson wearing some ridiculous attire and his gang of cool daddies have a mutual understanding for the time being with Trash. Out of nowhere a character known as Hammer (the character names just keep getting worse and worse, Hot-Dog has to be the best one yet.) played by Vic Morrow who sucks I might add comes in and tries to destroy all the gangs by turning them against each other. When this fails he just sends in some men from "The Manhattan Corporation" who he works for (silly, silly, silly). Hammer is also assigned to bring Trash's girl Anne back as she is to be the next big leader of "The Manhattan Corporation". Morrow's character seems to eventually forget his mission and just seems to stand around laughing stupidly as his team are wiping out the gangs.

 

With most Italian flicks this one has an unexplained and ultimately lame ending but some really nifty music, I really dig the main title song to the film. The "kung-fu" violence is laughable but there are some decent bullet wound effects, a cool scene of a guy getting his head pushed through glass and a decapitation.

 

The copy I have started out with the movie opening in the usual way with the movie company credits and then the movie beginning until it all stops and starts over again. Very unprofessional job done for an original pre-record if you ask me. The trailer for Assault On Precinct 13 after the movie made me a bit happier. The flick does not make me want to rush out and get others of its kind as there are numerous and even a sequel to this one titled Escape From The Bronx. The Bronx Warriors is a bit of mindless fun.

 

 

Rating: **

Pin It