Last House on Dead End Street

Last House on Dead End Street
by John Casper P. is your friend

When I was 13 I remember this small video store that opened up next to my grandparent's old house in Astoria. They had a really pathetic selection of films to begin with but there was this one movie that always stood out in my head, I guess it was because of the cover art and all the gimmicks on the box...WARNING! blah, blah, blah...

I finally got the "guts" to rent the flick and bought it home exasperated from what I was about to see...Needless to say, we popped the tape in the VCR and it was a bum tape...Tracking was off, really bad copy, all we got was sound. I remember one line and it stuck in my head for 12 years...."Maybe we can be superstars" You have to love that line.

It took me 12 years to track that movie down and I did...Two things I learned, never, NEVER, buy a tape from VSOM...tape cost me 35 bucks..they charge a 10 dollar membership fee..Second, they lie, boy do they lie...They told me via e-mail the copy was A-....Um, no..

If you have witnessed this piece of crap here's the story: Guy gets out of prison for selling dope, guy goes to abandon building, guy has friend that is the "Best camera man he knows", guy knows people in porn industry, guy makes snuff films.

Not a bad idea actually considering the film SNUFF did nothing but put me to sleep...There's one problem, this film is really awful. First let's start with the A- print, what are they blind? It was taken from a negative composite (watch carefully and you'll notice the "cuts" and "dissolves" the editor has to send out to the processor, they are so painstakingly obvious) which is such a horrible, horrible print...Film turns blue when ever there's necessity for a Dissolve...It's real dark, really dark...The lighting guy could either not light for shit or the movie's just really freaking old...I go with the lighting guy...It's just to obvious they had no conception of lighting. I give no excuse for the compromised effect we were going for, if there was one.

The film is so boring and insidious, there's a scene with a little boy and a dominatrix...he brings her something on a pillow than walks off the frame, it's at a party of the porn guy's house (I never explained "porn guy" he pops in the movie to bring us the unnecessary nudity factor and also holds the key to distribution).

Anyway, we waste a wonderful amount of time whining and complaining than we head off to torture, some really perverse shit...One guy or girl? puts a horse thingy down his/her pants as another guy is forced to give it oral sex. We later make the rounds and start killing people off and the guts come flying out all over...It's a string of endless revenge sequences, some a bit twisted, some just downright annoying. The film has no ending and quite frankly doesn't deserve one....I want my money back.

Overall rating:no stars 
Gore Factor: ***
Puke Meter: 1/2 (the gore really isn't effective, but that horse thing was kind of strange)
Shock: * (It tries really hard to do that but just gets stupid)

 

 

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