Lady Terminator

Directed by Jalil Jackson 
Cast - Barbara Anne Constable, Christopher J. Hart, Joseph P. McGlynn, Claudia Angelique Rademaker, Adam Stardust, Ikang Fawzi 

  One hundred years ago, the evil South Sea Queen finally meets her match in a man that can sexually satisfy her (any relation to Ilsa the She Wolf?) Just having finished making love, this guy reaches into her privates and pulls out this eel, which then turns into a magical dagger. The evil queen puts on curse on this guy's great granddaughter, and vows to have her revenge in one hundred years. Now at the present, the granddaughter decides to go deep sea diving for some clues about this legendary evil queen, and for her troubles winds up with an eel in her privates. Now possessed by this ancient sorceress, she rises out of the ocean nude, seduces a few guys and castrates them during sex (remember where that eel is). Minutes later she's strutting around in black leather and carrying and automatic weapon. This sets the stage for the rest of the film, as this femme fatale walks around blasting the hell out of anyone whenever she feels like it. Bullets cannot stop her, because she has supernatural powers. (?) 

  This action packed Filipino cheesefest is an enjoyable "bad" film, that rips off The Terminator, in no less than five different scenes. In fact, the shoot out at the bar, includes the line "Come with me if you want to live". In one scene our femme fatale finally sustains some damage after a few thousand bullets, and decides to cut out her eyeball in the bathroom. Get this, upon careful inspection, she decides the eyeball is fine and puts the damn thing back in like nothing ever happened! At the climax of the film, and after a few thousand more bullets and a few explosions, it takes it's toll on her. She shambles out from the exploding gas tanker, and now becomes a crusty faced zombie that shoots lasers out of it's eyes! Unbelievable. This is a fun film, with tons of violence, a fair amount of gore, and a few bits of nudity. Highly recommended for folks who want to see a wild ripoff of The Terminator.

-T. Luster



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